What is self-love and how to practice it?

What is Self-love?

Now many people ignore this concept and believe that they know everything about self-love. In my opinion, it is quite a deep and simple concept. It needs to be understood deeply. Thanks to a very good friend of mine, Gazal Gupta who told me about the self-love concept and I have a whole new perception towards it. Once you know your worth you won't feel need of validation or approval from others. It states to be real rather being perfect. And I believe it is as true as any other law of universe. Any person who doesn't love himself would feel unloved by others. He/she'll look out for love from outside.  

During our lifetime, we compare ourselves a lot with others and seek for love from others. And thus, sometimes we end up feeling inferior or superior to others. This is where we look for recognition from others. And many times we are not recognized, but compared. And the essence of self-love is acceptance. It means we accept ourselves as we are irrespective of what others think about us. People tend to judge each other and label everyone on basis of caste, religion, skin color, outlook and so on. And at times, we fall prey to these labels. We trap ourselves with opinions of many and hence forget to love ourselves completely. You can't give anyone something that you don't have, so its necessary to love and accept oneself to give unconditional love to others. Learn to love yourself without judgement and for no reason, only then you would be able to give it to others.

However, self-love never means being selfish. It means you introspect yourself and acknowledge what is going inside your mind. It means you choose to discard your old self-limiting beliefs and develop a new perception of life. It means that you know your worth and value yourself enough to set the boundaries for people. You must distance yourself from people you don't feel comfortable with. You change not because society demands it, but because you believe you need it. Its prioritizing yourself above anything and everything without fear of being judged. It is unconditional love for self. Once this gets into your subconscious mind, you'll never condition your mind for happiness. Though you will definitely feel low at times, self-love will help you filling the void in long run. 

Sometimes people misunderstand acceptance with no self-improvement. Self-improvement is a part of self-love. This has happened with me. I used to misunderstand this concept and tried to convince myself that my body doesn't need any transformation. Well, every situation demands a different you. Some people criticize their outlook, and then work on to improve it. Whereas there are other also who don't believe in criticism, accept that they need to improve, and do it. So it depends on a mindset of a person and his approach towards towards life. There is no wrong or right in this.

Ways to practice Self-love 

1. Go out- Go for a walk in some garden or spend time with your friends. Do what you feel is good for you. Observe the nature, and try to indulge with it. Green color tends to have a soothing effect on mind. It uplifts your mood.

2. Be responsible- Hold yourself responsible for your thoughts, actions an reactions. This will build your faith in yourself. Know that the power is within you. No outside source has control over you. The divine you assume present outside is actually within you. When you take hundred percent responsibility of yourself, you improve to a great extent because you don't blame things and people. You learn from your mistakes. 

3. Spend time with yourself- Now this you can do anywhere you want. The only condition is peaceful environment. Watch your thoughts and don't label them. You just need to observe, not to engage. If you feel like thoughts cannot be stopped, are continuously flowing, write them down. Writing your thoughts would bring clarity in mind. Don't try to control your mind, this will create more conflict. Remember that every situation is temporary and emotions change. Don't try to hold anything. Trust universe and let it flow. 

4. Set your routine- Follow a fixed routine. Take care of yourself by following a healthy routine. Inculcate habits like exercising, positive self-talk, gratitude, reading self-help books in your daily life. Exercise daily or play any sort of sports. Exercising daily would make you feel confident as it releases happy hormones in body. Its not necessary to indulge yourself in intense routine. Engaging in any sort of physical activity for minimum 30 minutes is enough. Stand in front of mirror and appreciate your outlook, say good things about you everyday. It would feel weird initially but you'll definitely experience positivity in life. Be grateful for your health, home, family, food, friends and so many things that people usually take for granted. Just be consistent with these habits.

5. Practice unconditional love- Feed a stray dog or any other animal and do it all with love. If you are helping someone, don't expect anything in return. Just do it because you want to, not out of any condition. 

6. Don't relate yourself with everything- Don't try to relate yourself with everything. There is plenty of self-help content available online, and offline. Don't try to relate with everything you read and hear. Its your life, and no one can understand it better than you. You need no validation from any other person. Focus on what you want. Have this clarity in your mind that what kind of life you want to live. Then manifest it. If you are happy from inside, it will reflect outside and that's all that matters. 

7. Life is constant flow- Moment passed cannot be recovered. So try to live in the present. Don't carry burden of past or fears of future. Forgive easily and love quickly. Life seems to be unfair at times and its pretty okay to feel despair during those moments. But, don't make it a habit. There is no static answer to life, its different for everyone. Today is good for some and bad for others, tomorrow it may be reverse. Nothing in life is constant, everything passes out. That's why life is constant flow, it never stops, it changes every moment.