Forgiveness brings happiness

We all have our own version of stories. Everyone is hurt, cheated or betrayed by someone. It could happen in any relationship. And its often that this kind of wound is given by our closed ones. The people we trust the most. And then we scare to trust anyone. I have even seen people who start believing that they don't deserve happiness, they don't deserve love. They criticize their fate, compare themselves with others and make things more messy inside their heads. And sometimes it feels like okay, I am done with this and I should go to very distant place where I should live alone on my own. Plenty of thoughts come across our mind and we start judging ourselves on small things and often get confuse about things.

We tend to live in fear of what if the same thing happens again. We make it hard to let go. We get stuck in our past, feel anxious about future and it becomes hard to forgive ourselves and others. The first thing that we need to understand is that forgiveness is not for others, but for ourselves. Keeping grudges and hate in mind would act as poison for your body. It won't make any change to other person's life. It is for our sake. And first of all, we need to forgive ourselves for constantly judging and criticizing the self. And the root cause of this is constant comparisons with others. Change would begin when we forgive ourselves and it is only then that we have power to forgive others.

Forgiveness never means that you trust that person again, it means that you have no hate or any emotion for that person and now you distance yourself from them. Though there are exceptions when you need to retaliate. And the act of forgiveness is different for everyone, for every relation. You cannot deal with everyone in the same manner. Every person has a different position in our life. Suppose your parents have misjudged you and said something very bad in heat of the moment. Now just think what is their motive behind that? Did they intentionally wanted to hurt you? The answer would be "No". Conflict of interests is common among humans. And it is absolutely natural. 

However, it happens frequently with us because we see the behavior of people, but not their intentions. Every person has self-respect. And it is hurt when someone behaves in an unexpected way. Undoubtedly, bad behavior cannot always be defended by intentions. This is when expectations are crushed and we feel despaired. But it is when we will understand that every individual has its own perception, it becomes easy to forgive them. You must never make constant efforts to try to make them understand what you want or think, just try to look from their perception and forgive them. 

Now a little practice that you can do is to sit quietly and say to yourself that you forgive yourself completely or you can write it on the paper. Now remember names of people you believe that are attached to your past and whether they have good/bad intentions, just say you forgive them and radiate good vibes. Do it for your happiness. Now it may happen that you feel good now but later on same thoughts strike your mind and the reel plays on loop inside your head. Remember that forgiveness is not one time practice, you must do it continuously until you feel neutral. Do it everyday, it could take some days, weeks, months or may be an year to forgive.